Wonderful World? HAH!
by 7CrimsonKisses7
Summary: Yes, you're going, to SCHOOL!" It was then that Deidara's world spun out of control. More chaos inside! May change to T rating further in...
1. I'm With Stupid

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto, or the characters in Naruto... Or the school... Though i did make the school up. *deep in thought* hmmmm... Oh, right, sorry. READ ON ^^

* * *

"Welcome to the wonderful world of school," Pein said, sweeping his hand over the great expanse of a building. Teenagers sat around chatting in the courtyards, and pink sakura petals fell around the area. "So, what do you think Deidara?"  
"I think that this is stupid and pointless, un," I replied. A stinging sensation the back of my head caused me to almost face-plant into the cobbled pathway. Pein glared at me and retracted his hand.  
"Now, now. You're only here for a year. And it's the best school around. Now, what do you think of it?"  
"Well... The uniform is sorta nice..." I mumbled, not wanting to succumb to the leader's annoyingness.  
"EXCELLENT! Now, let's get you signed up!"  
I sighed. Why was fate so cruel?

* * *

Now, dear readers, you may wonder why Deidara is being sent to school. Well, it all became because of a string of incidents that convinced our beloved *cough cough* Pein that Deidara was too STUPID to continue as is at the Akatsuki. And so, read on to discover what, exactly, this 'string' consisted of.

* * *

"Hey! Deidara! Play truth or dare with us!?" A very drunk Hidan called out to our hero.  
"No, un, I'll pass!" Deidara replied before grabbing a can of lemonade out of the fridge and hurrying back to his room before he could get roped into their little game.  
The circle of players consisted of Hidan, Tobi, Konan, Kisame, Kakuzu (most likely bribed) and, surprisingly, Itachi.  
"I'M GOING FIRST!" Hidan giggled in a very un-Hidan like manner and pointed to Konan.  
"Truth, or DARE!?"  
"Truth," Konan shrugged.  
"Is Pein-sama your boyfriend?"  
"No."  
"But you've done stuff with him, right? Diiiiiirty stuff!" Hidan wiggled his eyebrows and gave a wink.  
"Well, uh... Erhh," Konan blushed. You can imagine what followed.  
"SHUT UP! Itachi, truth or dare!" Konan tried to distract everyone. It worked.  
"Pff, dare."  
"Okay then... I dare you to... uhhh... Heh." Konan's grin grew until she resembed the cheshire cat. "Send a parcel with your _unwashed_ underwear in it to Sasuke. Make sure you enclose a birthday card as well."  
"WHAT!?" Itachi's eyes were as round as they could go, and his face was bright red. "Konan, I hate you." He stood up and left to do the deed.  
"MY TURN!" Hidan yelled.  
"It's Itachi's..." Zetsu put in.  
"NO! It's mine! Tobi! Truth or dare?"  
"Ummm. Truth! No, dare! No, truth! No, dare! No, truth! No, Dare! N-"  
"DARE IT IS! Make Deidara look totally stupid in front of the leader, as many times as you can within the next week. Payback for not joining us!"  
"Okay!" Tobi grinned.  
Naturally, chaos ensued.

* * *

**.DAY 1.**  
"Uh, Leader-sama... Before I go shopping, have you seen my cloak, un?"  
"Your cloak, Deidara??"  
"Un."  
"Have you checked your body?"  
"Huh?" Deidara looked down to see that he was draped in said cloak. "WHAT!? That wasn't there earlier! I swear!"  
"Mmmhm..." Pein rolled his eyes and walked away.  
In the shadows, Tobi giggled quietly. He had managed to slip the cloak on, masking the feeling with his chakra. Day one, success!

* * *

**.DAY 2.**  
"Ugh, OPEN DAMMIT!" Deidara yelled at the door as he pushed it with all his might. Who in their right mind would lock the door to the rec room? He'd been pushing the door for about 10 minutes now and it still wouldn't budge.  
"Deidara, what are you doing?" Pein was walking past when he saw Deidara's struggle.  
"Someone's locked the door, un," he replied, giving it a final shove to prove his point. Pein rolled his eyes and pulled the door open.  
"You were saying?"  
"But, the sign said 'push'!"  
"And I thought you were smart," Pein replied, before walking away. Deidara opened his mouth, closed it again, speechless, and walked into the room he had spent 10 minutes attempting to enter.  
Tobi watched him walk in, then casually strolled to the door and switched the signs back. Day two, success!

* * *

**.DAY 3.**  
By now, Deidara was feeling quite confused, and more than a little dumb. Why was he being so stupid?! Of corse, unknown to him, Tobi was thinking up his next evil plan.  
"LEADER-SAMA! COME PLAY WITH ME!!" Tobi shouted down the hall. Of corse, Pein had no choice but to accept. And also, of corse, this was all part of Tobi's devious little plan. He had set up fishing line in all the places Deidara went. He planned to tail him and make sure that Pein watched every time he tripped.  
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. Seven times. Then Pein cracked.  
"Deidara! How stupid can you get!?" A vein grew in his head.  
"There was something there, un!!" Deidara shot back. Pein walked up to him, not tripping over anything, and glared.  
"No Deidara, no there's not."  
Tobi stood back, his grin hidden by his mask. He held scissors inside his cloak, safe from Deidara's view. Day three, success!

* * *

**.DAY 4.**  
Deidara had been in extensive training all day and was just about ready to sleep. He stumbled into the kitchen and opened the fridge, ready to fill his deprived stomach. As he looked inside, a dry sob escaped his lips. There was no food!  
"LEADER-SAMA! WHERE'S ALL THE FOOD I BOUGHT A FEW DAYS AGO?" He ran into the hallway, yelling at the top of his lungs. He needed food! NOW!  
Pein shoved past him, irritated at the disturbance to his work. He walked into the kitchen and pulled the frige door open. It was full of random food, to suit everybodies tastes. His eye twitched. He turned around. He glared at Deidara. He punched the blonde in the face. He stalked off in a huff.  
Deidara got off the floor that Pein's punch had pushed him on and stared into the fridge in dismay.  
"The food wasn't there before," he whispered.  
From the next room, a panting Tobi peeked in. An empty fridge stood behind him, ready for disposing. Moving fridges sure was hard, but it was worth it. Day four, success!

* * *

**.DAY 5.**  
Tobi enjoyed this game. It was fun watching Pein's annoyance, but even more fun watching his sempei's face every time he was fooled. He knew by now that Deidara had figured someone was pranking him, but he'd never guess it of the 'innocent' Tobi. What should he do today?  
"Hey! Deidara! Did you know that Neil Armstrong wasn't actually the first man on the moon!?" Tobi sidled up to him, smiling innocently.  
"What? Really? Wow, I didn't know that..."  
"Leader-sama's studying the moon. I think he'd like to know!"  
"Oh, okay. I'll go tell him!" Deidara smirked, he'd finally prove he was smart!  
"Leader-sama! Tobi said you were studying the moon!" Deidara walked into the study room.  
"Yes, I am. Now if it's not too much trouble, I have work to do."  
"I have some information for you! Neil Armstrong wasn't the first one to land on the moon!"  
"Oh? And just who was?"  
"Uh. I'm not sure."  
"Deidara, you are an idiot. I've had it. You are more idiotic than I realised so I'm going to go to extremes on this."  
"Oh gods... Not-"  
"Yes, you're going, to SCHOOL!"  
It was then that Deidara's world spun out of control.

* * *

_Well people, I hope that this was okay. It's my first humor story. I hope it's alright..._

_Please revew. I love reading the reviews, though I don't get much._

_**SSB: Well that's'coz you're other stories were baaaaaaad!!**_

_Yeah, I get ya. But I'm confident this story is a bit better. Please back me up here guys/girls. =)_


	2. I Thought You Were A Girl

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or the characters, blah... You get it...**Anticipation flooded Deidara as he pushed up his sleeves. He dispelled it with a grimace, school was _not_ fun! Looking at himself in the mirror, though, he couldn't letting a small smile grace his features.  
The deep red clothes, with their black trimming, held a comfortable familiarity to Deidara. Today he had tried a neater hairstyle, taking his scope off and loosely tying his hair back. The fringe still half covered his eye, but was pulled back with the rest of his blonde hair. With a manly (or so he told himself) breath, Deidara was ready to grace the school halls.

* * *

"Please welcome our new student! Deidara, please stand."  
"Yes sensei." Deidara eased his way out of the front seat the teacher had put him in 'for introductions'.  
"Now come up here and say hi!" His sensei grinned.  
"I'd rather just sit down if it's all the same..." Deidara said, hating all the eyes fixed on him.  
Sensei looked mortified. He shook his head and pointed to a seat towards the back. "You sit next to Kiba."  
Deidara walked to the designated seat and smiled at Kiba. Kiba stared at him for a bit, looking confused, before shaking his head and looking back to his notebook. At a glance it looked like he was doing his work, but as Deidara looked closer, he saw that the boy was practising graffiti. Which he was surprisingly good at. Deidara had to agree with the brunette, drawing was a lot more fun then maths.  
Pulling out his book, Deidara started answering the questions. After a few seconds though, he decided it was a waste of time and therefore he would do more productive things. Like compare his- far more superior- clay works to Kiba's graffiti. Eventually, Kiba noticed. How could you not when the guy next to you is staring intently at your art, in a daze. Kiba cleared his throat. Deidara kept on staring. Finally, Kiba spoke.  
"You know, when you came in, I thought you were a girl... Plus Deidara is a sorta girly name... Heh."  
"Wait, what?? Girl... Are you calling me a girl!!??" Deidara glared. Kiba rolled his eyes.  
"No, idiot, I said I thought you were one at first... Then you spoke."  
"Oh, well thats- Wait! how could you mistake me for a girl?"  
"I dunno... I just did."  
"Would you like to share this with the class?" Sensei stood over the two, eyebrows raised.  
"Thanks for the offer," Deidara stood. "Kiba said he tought I was a girl. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE!?"  
A few of the students laughed and Kiba shook his head. "Oy, doofus! You're not actually meant to stand up and address the class."  
Deidara sat back down in shame. Who knew school would be so hard?

* * *

"Hey, Deidara! Come sit over here!" Kiba waved him over. Saved from his social awkwardness, Deidara trudged to the small group.  
"Deidara, this is Sasuke," Kiba pointed to a pale guy with spikey black hair. "Neji, " a guy with long dark hair, near black, and grey eyes. "Temari," She had her shortish blonde hair tied in four bunches and soft blue eyes. "And Sakura," he pointed to a girl with pink hair and blue eyes that seemed to go straight through Deidara.  
"Hi," he smiled. Well this was strange. Wasn't he meant to be a criminal? What kind of a criminal made friends?  
"Kiba, you're right, she does kinda look like a guy, and speaks like one too..." Temari commented.  
"I'M NOT A GIRL!"  
"Oh, right. Wrong way around. Sorry Deidara," Temari bowed her head. The group, with the exception of Sasuke, exploded in laughter. Deidara's face flushed red with anger and he glared at them all. Staring at Sasuke a bit closer, Deidara's eyes grew wide.  
"What's your clan name?"  
"Uchiha..." The ebony eyed teen said, confused.  
"You're related to Itachi. HAH! Who would've guessed!"  
"Don't say that name around me. I refuse to be related to that, SCUM!"  
Deidara had to use all of his effort to stop laughing his head off. Luckily, the bell saved him.

* * *

It was the last class of the day. Deidara just wanted to leave. School was so boring, though he had managed to copy off Neji the class before, that guy was such a whizz!  
No one from the little group that had adopted him was in his class, so hed have to sit on his own. Finding a seat shoved up at the back, he got comfortable and waited for the teacher to enter.  
And waited.  
And waited.  
He turned to the girl next to him with brown hair done up in two buns. "Hey, where's the teacher?"  
"Oh, sensei's always late. Look, there he is now!"  
Deidara turned to the front, then shot out of his seat, mouth hanging open.  
'"SASORI??!!"


	3. Chaotic Seconds

**Disclaimer: The usual... Naruto characters not mine... And stuff. Oh, and Shot Down In Flames Is By AC/DC... NOT me.**

**Sorry it took so long!! Moving houses and everything!! But here's the next chapter~!!**

**Enjoy**

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"Deidara, can you please stay after class?" Sasori's voice rang through the classroom. Deidara glanced up from his work and nodded before going back to his book. English was actually enjoyable. He had gotten over Sasori being his teacher about five minutes ago (this is near the end of the class), and had guessed that he would call him up at some point in the lesson to explain.

* * *

"Sasori! Explain what the hell is going on before my head explodes!"  
"Well, Deidara, you wouldn't even know about it if it wasn't for that stupid leader..."  
"Hmmm?"  
"Well, I've been working here for the past two years. Pein-sama didn't give me enough funding to satisfy me, and I've always wanted to teach... So... If you didn't come here then it would remain a secret. But Deidara?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Please don't tell Pein!" Sasori bowed his head, pleading. taken aback by the weird nature that Sasori had suddenly posessed, Deidara agreed. Suddenly realising what he was doing, Sasori brought his head up and regained his composure, a little embarrased by his actions.  
"Well, uh... I guess I'm going back to the dorms now. See you later Sasori-sama..."  
"It's Sasori-SENSEI," he stressed back as the blonde walked out of the room.

* * *

"Hey! Deidara-san! I didn't know you board!" A voice came from behind him. spinning around, Deidara came face to face with a grinning Kiba.  
"Oh hi... I didn't know you did either," Deidara walked over to his friend.  
"We do too!" The farmiliar voice of Temari greeted his ears, and a grunt of agreement showed that Sasuke was there too. Deidara inwardly rolled his eyes, not them! Nonetheless he put on a face and smiled at the two.  
"We're gonna have the best time!" Temari squealed, eyes lighting up. Behind her, Sasuke shook his head, telling Deidara that, clearly, he was in for hell.  
"I can't wait," he drawled sarcastically, to be hit over the head by the blonde girl. He could tell already that Sasuke was telling the truth, he would come out of this a tortured man, if he survived at all.

* * *

"Okay, everyone ready for maths~??" Deidara's sensei was met with a mumble. His face fell. "Well, ready or not, this is a maths class. And so, you have to be ready!" The sensei dropped the text books onto everyone's desks, forgetting Deidara. When he walked up to the front, he turned and glared into the blonde's blue eyes. "Deidara! Where's your text book!"  
"I uh... You didn't hand it to me..." He looked back, confused.  
"Well get up and GET IT!!"  
"Okay okay, sheesh." when Deidara sat back down, he heared a snicker from his right.  
"Shuddup Kiba. It's not my fault!" Deidara shot back quietly.  
"You have an enemy!" Kiba grinned happily, then turned to the girl infront of him.  
"Oi! Hinata!" He threw some paper at the girl. She turned, grey eyes questioning.  
"Wanna go to the dance in a few weeks?"  
"I-I uh... Sorry Kiba, I already p-planned to go w-with someone..." She whispered back, before hurridly turning back to her work. Kiba opened and closed his mouth several times. Deidara started humming the tune to 'Shot Down In Flames'.  
"Shut up!"  
"Payback," a grinning Deidara replied, satisfied.  
"DEIDARA! DO NOT TALK!"  
Deidara, not expecting the outburst of his sensei, fell off his chair in shock, causing Kiba to laugh uncontrollably.  
"Get off the floor and do your work! Or you will get a zero for the day!"  
"Y-Yes Sensei..." As he stood, thirty eyes followed him and he felt a strong heat grow on his face. Sitting down, he focused on his work, trying to ignore the constant snickering coming from his brunette friend.

* * *

"And then he fell off the chair!"  
"Kiba! Do you have to tell everyone?" Deidara questioned as the group exploded into laughter.  
"Deidara, looks like your maths teacher doesn't like you... What did you do?" Neji questioned, his grey eyes boring into the blonde, as if he was trying to look THROUGH him.  
"Uh, I don-"  
"He didn't greet the class yesterday! You're so silly Deidara-kun!"  
"Jiraiya-Sensei's like that," Sasuke agreed.  
"Thanks for the warning.. A bit late though!"  
"Dei-kun, the dance is coming up soon... Who you going with?" Temari grinned, smoothly changing the subject.  
"Uh, no one..."  
"But you have to go with someone! It's custom Dei, don't you know anything?"  
"I think I'll just skip custom. I mean, this is only my second day here..."  
"I'll go with you if I must... Even if you _do_ look like a girl!"  
"Thanks Temari, but I think I'll keep my options op- I DON'T LOOK LIKE A GIRL!!"  
Temari giggled and ran away, an angry Deidara in hot pursuit.

Day two of school and he was already fitting right in.

* * *

**And that's the end... So far.**

**Sorry it's so short. I'll aim for a longer one next time.**

**If I can get the computer.**

**Thanks for reading!! Appreciate it!!**


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